Wednesday, August 8, 2012

A Pregnancy Vent

I haven't done the week by week thing in forever, and probably won't again. I don't have patience anymore for much. I just need to vent, to get it all out instead of complaining here and there to anyone who will listen. While pregnancy is a beautiful thing, I don't know one woman who has been pregnant who by this time(34 weeks) didn't need to let out some steam and have the baby.

I can't wait to have a flat tummy again, and all the things that come with it. I can sleep on my belly if I want to, lay on my belly and get massages from Woody, lay on my belly by the pool and get a tan on my back. I can wear regular t-shirts again without stretching them or needing an x-large. That blows my mind. Most importantly(and selfishly) I look forward to getting massages, cause Woody is good at that and getting massages suck when you have to lay on your side. Oh, I can't wait for non-pregnancy sex again. Yeah... I said that. I don't care who reads this, it's just not hot/sexy or nearly as fun when you've got a baby occupying your uterus and a penis trying to occupy your vagina at the same time. HAHAHA ANYWAY... =/ I don't like feeling my boobs touch my tummy either, I just feel very National Geographic woman without a bra on, not that there's anything wrong with that but it's not as comfortable, especially with huge ass pregnancy boobs.
On to activities that aren't allowed, like volleyball. Or tennis. Or running at all. I get out of breath going up one flight of stairs. Not because I'm completely out of shape,  but because a huge baby is pushing all my organs into my thoracic cavity and decreasing lung capacity. Panting like a dog and feeling my heart go nuts and then having a baby kick me in the meantime is anxiety inducing. Speaking of anxiety, I can't wait to be able to take a Xanax when I'm feeling anxious again. Or really, any other medication without having to worry about hurting the baby. Like alcohol. That's a medication, right? Looking forward to that, too, but it's not as high on my list as it used to be.
That brings me to food. Oh FOOD. Sushi, I miss you so much. Lunch meat, hot dogs, hollandaise sauce, caffeinated drinks. The list is long. Although, I've learned a lot about methylates and how bad they are for any body, so preserved meats in general I'm going to stay far away from, pregnant or not. Any additive that can unwind DNA strands scares me.
I'm going to appreciate not having a lot of attention from strangers anymore. Pregnant women attract psychos just as much as they attract sweet old ladies or other Mom's with comments. I've probably had a hundred conversations that go like this, word for word: "Oh my gosh, you're pregnant! Is this your first? How far along? When are you due? Boy or girl? What's his name? Are you excited? Are you ready? Enjoy your sleep and free time now before it goes away!" Sometimes these conversations include little personal stories and anecdotes that I just have to smile and nod through, though all I really want to do most of the time is scream "Leave me alooooooooooooone!" But I understand they are just being nice and friendly and who doesn't love a pregnant woman or a little baby.
I really really look forward to not having to see the Dr every week, and not have them stick their fingers up in my nether regions to see if I'm dilated at all. Also, not having kidney issues like stones and infections that result in days spent in the hospital will be nice. I'm sure I'll have my pre-pregnancy energy back, too.
Last but not least, it actually trumps every other thing on this list, I can't wait to meet my son. Yeah, just typing that out and thinking about it made me cry. The love and excitement I feel for him takes every negative away. I can't wait to hold him in my arms, look him in his eyes and kiss his cheeks. That moment he hears my voice, looks in my eyes for the first time and knows that I'm his Mama will turn me into blubber, much like I am right now. To have my little family together at last will make it all worth it. I'll forget how much I hated pregnancy, and I'll be that little old lady one day stopping random pregnant women on the street to ask nosy questions and tell them about my son. :)